Have you ever wondered how you would cope, if you landed in a country and you weren't sure of the date or the correct time. You had 4 bags (one of which weighed 23kgs), you had no accommodation booked and the weather outside laughed at a sauna?!
Well I was about to find out!
And can I just say, since no one else was there to say this for me...I did rather amazingly!
I was sitting in the lobby of my hotel in less than an hour without having hardly broken a sweat!
And that is how I roll!!
The hotel, as it turns out, has not been maintained since they took the website photos about a hundred years ago! And the air con seemed to make the place hotter rather than cooler.
Oh this was gonna be fun.
Did I mention the cupboard that looked like the cupboard from the grudge?
Well this room had one and I am not a fan of the cupboard from the grudge. Something else ive learnt about myself over the past year is that ugly things cause me to go into a sort of depression.
No seriously, before I left to go back to South Africa, I had to drop off all my things at my school that I wasnt taking home. Things like all my pretty fairy lights and things that made my room pretty, and that last night sleeping in a bare ugly room I actually cried. Yip, all those of you who keep calling my brave, take my fairy lights away from me and I will cry!!!
Anyway, back to my story.
I figured since I hadnt slept in awhile I would just get something to eat and go straight to bed, wake up in the morning and look for a new hotel.
Oh how wrong I was.
Have you ever wondered what happens to a person when they are jetlagged and placed in extreme temperatures? Well that was something else I found out, but I will leave that for you guys to find out for yourselves.
I wouldnt want to ruin the surprise.
Somewhere between 2 and 3 in the morning I finally fell asleep under a wet sheet. (I wet it with water, I did not wet myself, it was the only way to stay cool, lets just get that straight) I woke up at 11:30 the next morning with a dead ipod, a dead laptop and no plug!
So much for finding a new hotel.
Luckily I had the address of one that I prayed had an empty bed, a plug and a proper air con. Getting all my bags across bangkok on the subway was great fun. The security officers at each station were lovely enough to search all my bags for me.
That was nice of them!:)
Eventually, after only one thought of jumping infront of a train I made it to my beautiful, airconed, clean, grudge cupboard free hostel.
And they had a free room.
I put down my bags and went shopping.
I had only 2 things on my list, food, glorious cheap thai food. And an ipod cable(i left mine at home). On the way to the mall I found a street that im pretty sure they will have in heaven. It was just lined with FOOD!! It was right about then that I finally got excited about being back. I probably ate one of everything from each food stall that I passed. With the exception of the bug stall and the pig liver stall. It was AWESOME!
I then went to the mall.
Now ive experienced the overboardness of thai malls. They're insanely huge(they rarely have less than 5 floors), incredibily modern, have loads of cool stuff and they're very pretty, so naturally its where I spend most of my time. But this mall was by far the coolest one i'd been to. I suddenly felt very underdressed in my shorts and tshirt with my hair that had been subjected to the humidty. But nevermind, im a foreigner, people are going to stare at me no matter what. I had my ipod cable in no time and after walking myself dead I decided I would watch a movie while I waited for the sun to set and the heat to become bearable.
I watched limitless.
It was brilliant, you should all go see it!
On my way out towards the taxi stand I saw a beautiful thing...a MARKS & SPENCERS!! This could only mean one thing...PERCY PIGS!! I ran inside to find a promotion on what? Percy Pigs!! I mean could my day get any better. I bought my 2 big bags of percy pigs and went to catch a taxi to Khao san Road:D But this taxi driver decided I had had too much happiness for one day so he thought he would end my happiness by trying to scam me. He obviously did not know who he was dealing with, as I am the queen of seeing scams and putting scammers in their place(to put it nicely). This guy was easy so we were great friends again and off to khao san road in no time:)
Khao san road was still the same only I realised I had changed (yoh, lets get deep now). Believe it or not but I had no desire to shop. I was at my favourite market in the world and I didnt feel the need to buy anything. Surely this meant I was broken! I consoled myself by saying that subcounsiously I knew that I couldnt fit anything else in my bag and I had probably already bought everything there anyway so thats why I didnt feel the need to buy anything. I then bought 2 pairs of earrings, some lovely green curry and went back to my hostel.
I dont think I mentioned earlier that I chose to stay in a 4 bed dorn instead of a private room, well I just assumed that they had put me in an all girls dorm and it would be all fun making friends my age with girls from around the world. Well, in walks mister 30 something, obese pakistinian MAN! Ok, nevermind, maybe the other 2 people are girls. Fast forward 1 hour and in walks cute little german boy, I say cute and little because next to the pakistianian he was. He was cool and we made friends and he kept saying we and us so I assumed he was talking about his girlfriend (yay, atleast one other girl in the room)...in walks the other half of the we and us, german boy number 2 and all hope of not being the only girl in the room disappeared. Luckily the germans were cool and slept like normal human beings. I cannot say the same for the pakistinian. I have never in my life heard anyone snore like that. In fact I dont think I would even call in snoring, in fact I wouldnt be surprised if the guy wasnt even human.
It was a massive lol.
But somewhere round 2 I managed to fall asleep.
I was woken up by people cleaning the room, which made me incredibly angry. Was it really necessary to clean the room so early in the morning?!! I then checked my phone to find out it was 1:30 in the afternoon...my bad!
After eating some lovely raw eggs for breakfast I thought I'd go sit in the park that i'd always wanted to go to and read my book. After being outside for 30 seconds I decided that to the mall it was!!
I'd always driven past Siam Paragon and it looked cool so I thought i'd check that out. OH.MY.WORD!!! Forget everything I said about yesterdays mall being amazing. This one was better, way better!! You'll have to go there for yourself one day because I cannot even begin to describe it. It was slightly overwealming. It had the biggest aquarium in asia and an IMAX in it. And there were like 2 other mini malls(and when I say mini I mean like 2 of cavendish) next to it. One of them had a madame tussauds in it so I thought id go there but to my dissapointment they didnt have a wax model of Mario Maurer so after filing a complaint I left. And thats when I found the food court, which had a Krispy Kreme and I ate an oreo donut to make myself happy again:) I then went to 3 different malls and tried something different at all the different cute little coffee shops. While I was having coffee next to the eiffel tower, a group of thai teenagers came up to me and asked me if I was in the new Harry Potter movie. People have told me I look like Drew Barrymore and Catherine Zeta Jones(don't worry, I dont see it either) and ive been asked if im related to Dustin Hoffman, Matt Hoffman and the famous jewish rabbi(twice!) but never have I been asked if I was in a Harry Potter movie. It made me feel very cool tho:) I considered lying and saying that I was but, I didnt, because im a good, honest person! They looked very disappointand apologised and waied prpfusely and then ran away. By far the most bizarre moment of my life so far. I am very curious as to who they thought I looked like in Harry Potter. Or maybe they just thought ilook like a witch in general . Maybe they thought I looked like Belatrix Lestrange. Maybe I shouldnt think about it too much.
Anyway, there was some commotion going on by the movie theatre and because I was convinved that mario maurer was there and the only way to get there was to buy a movie ticket, I bought a moive ticket. Mario Maurer was not there:( I will find you someday Mario!!!
I watched Source code.
It was brilliant, you should all go see it!
Then I decided that since the sun had set it would be ok to step outside of the air coned buildings and go to the park. After getting very lost, irritated and drenched in sweat(yummaaay), I arrived at the park but decided I didnt want to go to the park anymore so I got on the train and went home. By then, I was so exhausted I managed to fall straight to sleep.
After a very traumatic morning of getting my bags back across bangkok to the bus station, I am finally writing this to you on a bus to Khon Kaen. 2 more hours and I get to see the lovely and awesome Mint and Eveline:)
I will let you know what else is waiting for me in Khon Kaen and if I have a roof over my head tonight as at the moment im kinda homeless...
This is Mario Maurer for those of you who don't know. He's half Thai, half German, thai actor.