Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Why am I still here

I always go on about how much I love South Africa and when I talk about Thailand, its usually just to complain about something. So a logical thing would then be to ask, why don't I just go home, surely its that simple.
Well, the short answer to that question is, if I want to say that South Africa is the greatest country on earth, I have to have been to all the other one's! Hahaha.

But seriously, just because I love South Africa, doesn't mean I can't travel to other countries. I absolutely love travelling and the more I travel the more countries I want to travel to.
I know I won't always have the opportunity to travel so I'm using the opportunity I have now while I'm still studying to do it.
If I come home, i'll still be a student and I won't be able to get a job doing what I want (being a teacher) so why not live in a country where I can be a teacher until I have my degree and I can come home and be a teacher there.

As for why stay in Thailand specifically if I seem to hate it so much?
To answer that properly, you will have to meet my students. I did not think it would be possible to love someone that much even when you can't even communicate with them.
It's no secret that I don't agree with the thai education system or with most of their cultural things. That probably makes me a bad person, and I know its wrong, trust me i'm working on it. 

When I leave, I will most probably never see these children again, I will never know what they become, who or if they get married. I won't know if their next teacher loves them as much as I do. I won't know if there is someone to tell them its ok to cry when they're sad or that their picture is beautiful even when the others teachers are telling them its not because trees in real life are not blue. I won't know if they are getting enough hugs every day, of if they'll have someone to sing the mickey mouse theme song with, and that will kill me. 

Its probably my arrogance thinking that im the best teacher they'll ever have and I'm giving them the best education and without me everything will suck because no one is as good as me, or its probably just my bad attitude towards things here. 
Either way, everytime I see all the children being forced to say their morning prayers or being told they cannot cry when they're sad their mother isn't coming to the mother's day ceremony, or when we have to test 2 year olds on things that they shouldn't be taught yet because they should be outside playing, it makes me want to stay forever so that I can tell them that they can do whatever they want to. Because life is that simple!

That and Thailand's not all that bad. I do actually love it here. The culture and language barrier is difficult and im reminded of it daily but other than that, I've met some amazing people, been to some amazing places and made memories that I won't easily forget.

I'll be home april 2014!

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